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Aventuras en el Pasado (Adventures in the Past)
The first scene is of a fortysomething British American man in a traditional judge's robe, including the powdered wig. This, however, is no ordinary judge - this is the Manipulator of Time. From behind the viewer sees him conjuring up a large ball of Fuego Azul, into which he peers into time and space. A particular scene disturbs him - he sees that some Gran Colombians, through the help of an elderly female revenant, have travelled back to Fort San Pedro in 1820, just prior to the decisive Battle of Fort San Pedro that began the end of Gran Colombia's hold over its northern territories. Fuming at the sight, he stridently declares, "Those meddling Gran Colombians! They won't destroy the predestination paradox! I WON'T LET THEM!!!" The scene then returns us to the ensuing battle commenced by The Mover and The Shaker, the two brothers of Edward Miles (see El Gringo Metiche from Season 1). El Tigre de Plata manages to dodge The Shaker’s earthquake attempt and tackle him to the ground – for the moment. Meanwhile, El Enigma appears: first to the soldiers of the opposing side as a blinding light that intimidates them; and then to the Gran Colombian soldiers from Fort San Pedro as La Virgen de Guadalupe, beckoning them to fight for their blessed Gran Colombia with the words, “Come, begotten children of Gran Colombia! The enemy is in confusion! The enemy feels the wrath of God!”; they march forward, inspired by their most sacred Virgen and Sgt. Pinta’s cry of “¡Adelante!” Señor Blanco attempts to move The Mover; however, he and The Mover become locked in a battle of wills for who can lift whom, with The Mover eventually winning and pinning Señor Blanco at a height of 20 feet. Meanwhile, Dr. Mantis confuses everyone by morphing into The Mover and attempting to order the minions to withdraw, shouting, “Retreat, chaps! Retreat!”; seeing two versions of their master, the minions are thrown into disarray. La Bruja, however, is more successful in her attack – she casts the following spell, aimed at The Mover’s henchmen, as glittery Fuego Azul energy fabulously emerges from her waving hands like a sparkly ocean wave: Soy La Bruja, La Bruja Poderosa (I am The Witch, The Powerful Witch) Que se caigan los esbirros como unas babosas (May the henchmen fall like so many female slugs) And with the wave of her hand, five of the minions fall to the ground, unconscious! The rest are in shock, confusion, and fear. Not very happy with being knocked down, The Shaker gets up and creates fault lines under our heroes, most especially El Tigre de Plata, but they all manage to duck out of the way just in time! Seeing a golden opportunity to stave off a massive minion attack, El Tigre de Plata menacingly addresses The Shaker’s minions, intimidating them into cowering in place! By this time, The Shaker isn’t best pleased and threatens that El Tigre de Plata will be “shanked by the Shaker,” to which El Tigre de Plata replies, “El Tigre de Plata needs no weapons!” and almost executes a manoeuvre to knock down The Shaker. However, Dr. Mantis (still in the guise of The Mover’s double) manages to knock The Shaker unconscious with the power equivalent of sleight-of-hand, causing him to sneeze himself unconscious! Seeing that his precious predestination is being threatened, the Manipulator of Time makes a menacing appearance in front of the meddling Gran Colombians, shouting, “You do-gooder Gran Colombian scum have threatened the predestination paradox that MUST HAPPEN! Prepare to die!!!” El Tigre de Plata replies with a very cheeky, “As you Gringos like to say, a-boo-hoo-hoo!” Incensed by this, the Manipulator of Time attempts to go after Abuelita Rosa with his time manipulation beam, causing Abuelita Rosa to retaliate in kind, with time beams shooting back and forth. El Enigma also attempts to engage the Manipulator of Time by throwing a knife at him, but he very quickly bends space around her, causing the knife to lodge in her back in such a way that she isn’t bleeding but could bleed profusely if she moves. Meanwhile, the Manipulator of Time’s very presence is causing the very ground under everyone’s feet to go into a form of temporal flux. Also, The Shaker is repeating the same sneeze that knocked him unconscious, and he is beginning to shake the ground with his repetitive motion; seeing the problem all too clearly, Dr. Mantis flips onto The Shaker in an attempt to demobilise him, instead partially phasing out of time due to contact with The Shaker. El Tigre de Plata helps his fellow combatant (or so he thinks at the time) by executing a brilliant flying leap and knocking Dr. Mantis off The Shaker; however, El Tigre de Plata is also partially out of phase because of contact with Dr. Mantis. All the while, waves of time and random images of the past, present, and (potential) future are propagating through the battlefield, threatening to rip the surrounding space apart. Seeing this existential threat, El Enigma (in the guise of La Virgen) successfully urges the oncoming Gran Colombian troops to withdraw, whilst simultaneously hurling a nearby boulder at The Mover, which The Mover dodges, thusly breaking his concentration on Señor Blanco, who is seen to be falling but manages to cushion his own fall by manipulating the sand underneath him. The ensuing chaos enables La Bruja to use her witchcraft to hurl The Shaker at the Manipulator of Time. This has the effect of ending the temporal waves hurtling through the sand; however, it also means that The Shaker is winked out of existence because the Manipulator of Time, in order to protect himself from oncoming damage, must give up part of his temporal manipulation power. This weakness is noticed and quickly capitalised upon by our heroes… In a very confusing moment, the Manipulator of Time attempts to kill off the party by bringing a megalodon back from Earth’s prehistoric past. Fortunately, however, Abuelita Rosa sends it back to the time from which it came. El Tigre de Plata contemplates throwing the Manipulator of Time back with the megalodon, but thinks better of it as the moment is slipping past too quickly. At this point The Mover takes advantage of the chaos by lifting Dr. Mantis and El Tigre de Plata off the ground with his moving power; only through sheer brute strength does El Tigre de Plata break free from the grip of the moving beam, dangle, and grapple onto the nearest Palo Verde (green stick) tree as an anchor. Only when Señor Blanco decides, very cleverly, to slam The Mover against the partially weakened Manipulator of Time does Dr. Mantis also break free! The Manipulator of Time is seen to also wink The Mover out of existence as a defensive manoeuvre, further weakening him. Seeing a golden opportunity, El Tigre de Plata tackles the Manipulator of Time, weakening him further still but leaving El Tigre de Plata only half in and half out of existence. La Bruja follows suit by floating rapidly toward the Manipulator of Time, her protective bubble around her winking out of existence the moment it touches him. The viewer is left with the impression that this change may well be permanent. When Dr. Mantis finally breaks free from the now-nonexistent Mover, he suddenly (but not unsurprisingly) decides to betray the party! He morphs himself into British American Queen Victoria and orders the British American soldiers to fire upon the Manipulator of Time (his primary motivation being to anger said Manipulator of Time enough to get the heroes killed)! The 5,000 soldiers are mostly confused and indecisive, but a precious 15 who are absolutely determined that “Queen Victoria” is fake (and are plenty angry about it) train their weapons – 5 on El Tigre de Plata, 5 on Señor Blanco, and 5 on “Queen Victoria.” The wounds are mostly superficial for Dr. Mantis and Señor Blanco, but they do keep the party on their toes. El Tigre de Plata manages to fade out just enough for the bullets to fly past him. Dr. Mantis finally gives up his Queen Victoria form and heals El Enigma, who then projects her shadow self onto the Manipulator of Time in an attempt to confuse him, whilst at the same time asking Abuelita Rosa to attempt to imprison the Manipuator of Time forever. As all this is happening, the Manipulator of Time – in a move of pure desperation – creates a temporal portal to the birth of Abuelita Rosa in an attempt to prevent it from happening, thus (in his mind) preserving the timeline in which British America emerged victorious against Gran Colombia in the Gran Colombian War. Fortunately El Tigre de Plata executes a very well-timed flying leap, landing himself on top of the Manipulator of Time and collapsing the predestination paradox. Our heroes, Dr. Mantis, and Abuelita Rosa find themselves just outside present-day (late November 1861) Tenochtitlán Town Square, where everything appears normal but there’s an air of change about the place. Everyone finds they now have memories of two timelines – the original, and the timeline which has now been created due to the heroes’ journey through time.